Right or wrong, people form a perception
about our competence based on how confidently we present ourselves.
Let me give you an example.
Let’s say you went to the doctor for a
pain that you’ve been having in your side. The surgeon who is examining you
says the following, “Uhm… Well, uh you know? You might, uhm, have to have your
uh appendix taken out.”
How competent are you going to feel about
this doctor’s ability to treat you? Or even worse— the doctor says all the right
things, but as he looks over your chart, you notice his hand shaking. It doesn’t
matter how many degrees this person has or how many initials the doctor has
after his or her name. You will probably question the doctor’s competence.
Where does self-confidence come from?
Self-confidence is not something people
are born with. It results from a combination of factors:
1. Learned
skill: Self-confidence is a combination of skills, not just a single quality.
People are not born with it or without it. It can be learned.
2. Practice:
Self-confidence comes from practice. It may appear to be spontaneous, but it
isn’t.
3. Internal
locus of control: Self-confidence results from what psychologists call an
internal locus (central point) of control. This means that people who are
self-directing, who accept responsibility for their own results, have greater
self-confidence.
In
“Become More Self-Confident” by Garrett Coan, some suggestions are offered on how
workers can build their self-confidence:
1. Follow your strengths. Self-confidence comes from being the best "you" possible. It doesn't come from trying to be someone else. It is the result of following paths like these:
- Do what comes naturally.
- Develop your talents.
- Follow your convictions.
- Express your own style.
2. Plan ahead. Many people are surprised to hear that self-confidence comes from something as ordinary as planning. But think about it; let's say you are going on a job interview, almost always an anxiety-producing experience. When you are prepared, you feel more confident.
3. Take action. Confidence comes from taking action. Break your challenge down into small steps and take that first step, no matter how small it seems.
4. Study. The more you know about your subject, the more confident you will feel. In fact, the lack of self-confidence almost always stems from a lack of information. We've all had that sick feeling that we don't fully understand what we are talking about.
5. Act the part. The following tips will help you begin to present yourself in a positive way.
- Find a role model. Look for someone who is already successful in your field. Observe him or her and identify for yourself what behaviors convey self-confidence.
- Look and act powerful. Watch people who create a powerful impression. It could be a TV anchor, a character in a movie, or a coworker. Imagine yourself behaving in a similar way. For an example, watch the movie Top Hat. Fred Astaire exudes confidence.
- Be aware of nonverbal behavior that detracts from presenting yourself with confidence. Ask for feedback from a trusted friend or watch yourself on videotape.
6. Rehearse for success. One of the most important ways to boost your self-confidence is by rehearsing important conversations and presentations. You can never be too prepared. These ideas will help you practice so that you really understand your subject:
- Manage your anxiety. Feeling anxious is normal when you are in a challenging situation. The key is learning to manage anxiety so it doesn't paralyze you or diminish your effectiveness.
- Get organized. When your materials are prepared and well-organized, you will feel better about your ability to access them. Having information scattered in too many places makes you feel out of control and undermines your self-confidence.
7. Persist. Self-confidence is the result of a lot of hard work. The process takes time. It has been said that success is 99% persistence and 1% talent.
8. Enjoy your success. When you reach your goal, don't forget to give yourself credit for working hard. Be proud of what you've accomplished. Here are some ways you can do this:
- Look in the mirror and say to yourself, "Good work. I'm proud of you."
- Think of a way to reward yourself.
- Tell others about your success.
- Write yourself a letter or explore your accomplishment in your journal.-
- Draw a picture expressing your achievement.
In this unstable economy, it may feel quite difficult to feel confident, but that is exactly, why you need to at least appear to be more confident.
If you are the proverbial "surgeon" above, that your boss is looking to to effect some needed changes in your organization, and it appears that "your hands are shaking", do you think they'll give this important responsibility to you?
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